Friday, July 29, 2011

Growing pains

It's seems odd, having the reality of "you never really know anyone" sink in
especially twice in one month's time; selfishness rules the current world

I wake up numb to its existence, fighting off the memories once dear
then a picture surfaces or a common connection re surges and I fall prey

I have often prided myself on being kind, but I learned its failure hard
Spoken secrets have an enemy and I find myself watching my back religiously

Where is the message? --- pins are knocked down, but my triumphs are kept in the dark
There's no one in the audience and I falter, for my rehearsed words have no meaning

Empty and unhealthy relationships have returned to assist me off the wagon
I see myself losing sight of sincere matters and those most devoted to my soul

Although not an answer, this much I know -- there will always be growing pains
age does not constitute its position, the feelings are the same, but taken in differently

It is painful regardless, but I almost crave the reaction of a child's versus my own
they are most resilient, while feeling invincible; it's harder to forgive as we grow up

I see the challenges of being a sole adventurer, that is possibly priceless at its best
to build endurance and chase after dreams and watch the world through my own eyes

I have questioned the prediction of fateful turns, if I had known, would it change things?
that's when uninvited emotions come to haunt me, I fight back to regain survival

Will I trust less, care less, desire less?  Will friendship represent regretful decisions?
It can't be so, timing represents everything, we become who we are through such experiences

So I will take these lessons and apply them to my life, through this journey of who I am
I was an impact once and although I am not present in yours, these impacts are forever embedded

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