Thursday, June 23, 2011

A server's day

Some people are born servers, yet they just don’t really care. They have this savvy way about them, they usually win their customers over, but they can never follow through. They are very good, but for some crazy reason - they can’t give you 100 percent. Then there are those who try really hard, but they’re just not cut out for it. They study the menu more, they come in early to study the specials and to become faster in areas where they lack speed. They never learn that’s it’s all about timing and being in total control. Lastly, there are those who, for some unbeknown reason, are scoring the covers and milking the cows because they make the most amount of money for being a simple server with the fake personality. Maybe at one time they did really care, but once they saw the money the quality of service didn’t mean as much anymore. They take advantage of their back waiter, the one that actually makes it happen for them and the one who takes home the least of the tips.

We all make money to survive, but serving is more than that. It’s about that connection you have when you deliver the ultimate service experience. It’s about timing, sincerity and making your guest feel like a king or queen. The glory lies in the happiness you bestow on your guest. That’s why it comes from the heart.

This is a server’s day.


Digging for yellow

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

I heard the song on the radio the other day and I thought, “how ironic.” I used to love this song because I thought it held so much meaning, yet was so simply well put. Then yesterday I was speaking to a wise friend and she made me realize that we do get what we want in life. It is through the sacrifices we make to achieve our goals that make life so challenging, trying, yet very rewarding. Our characters, who we are, are shaped by these opportunities, privileges, and struggles. How we approach the situation, how we handle our props, and how we make sense and best use of our tangible means. In the end, it all comes back to you - what you make of your day.

Today, the chips weren’t falling in my favor, but then the sun came out and it made me feel great. I won’t let the uncontrollable circumstances control my fate, I can put it in the background and no one has to know it exists. In my world, it doesn’t have to. That is the beauty of getting what you want in life. Believing that something yellow is hiding behind something gray and you just have to dig in to find it.



Always changing
Sometimes low and sometimes high
Sometimes just trying to get by
I’m a mother and a wife
But sometimes I question the duty of this life
On school grounds, I fumble with conversation
That follows the flow of food and sanitation
Scouting the playground for signs of misconduct
I find the ones that will lure my offspring
At home there’s daily homework, then off to work
Where I serve the general public, serving culture
How diverse is the city of two seasons, winter and spending tax dollars

Life is about adaptation
Whether you are working or lurking in the dark
Changing your uniform for your next role
An actor whose script is constant improvisation
Separate identities, how often I ad-lib
Should I or should I not
This one talks or doesn’t care for me
So I lash out – fuck you
You can’t run me out, I am merely a chameleon changing hats


this is heartache

when your favorite place is closed
and no one knows how you feel
you've left imprints in fallen rain
and you still wind up the same
choosing and dealing is what life is about
take it slow, don't look back, then shout
here's another - conflicting emotions
not on the same page yet feeling audacious
should have thought twice before I knew
another hand pulls the yellow door
my fingerprints no longer lay on its handle
respect lost in translation, minus the scandal
the once good friend... what was her name?
played the take the best out of best friend game
coming and going, drama or pleasure
not my kind of game or treasure
the one of a kind I knew died young
i never had a chance to text her or say goodbye
speaking of… this is the hardest
losing someone who is dear, and unexpectedly
and you race with your mind to remember
the last time you spent together, what was said
then you recall it, and replay it over again
and it seems very real, tis true
and winter - enough said...
your snow flakes fall sporadically on my head
oh heartache why do you spring upon us?
i am summer year round, i cannot frown
let sunshine reflect on the true souls
the ones who really know who they are
and maybe then the heartache will vanish
and no one will ever know as they do not know now
what trouble lies among us
the ones that stay inside our hearts

this which is heartache


Addictive Measures

I cannot stray from it
how often I have tried
I turn here, I turn there
I convince myself of the lie
but somehow, some way
it crawls back to me on its knees
and I can’t help myself
the way I see it
I don’t know any different

there are layers
like flavors in a wine
the more complex
the more magnetic the connection is
it is because it represents your every person
when you’re nice and gentle
or put on the bitch mask
when you’re sad or happy or both
when you see needs that are indifferent to others
feeling 200 percent sincere
all of these mean something
and the feeling is intensified
when the addiction exists

your soul begins to open up
you are changing scenes
this is complexity
set me aside, you think at first
you want to hang on to the previous nuance
sadly, you realize you’ve become submissive
and it’s a new world, the layers linger
you get so far in, you discover more
sometimes familiar, sometimes foreign
it softens, it deepens, it defines itself
and before it touches your lips, you taste it already
this is addiction


Monday, June 20, 2011

How it broke

I watch the games you play, at your leisure
trust me when I say you will repeat your words, only with kindness
only then I won't care or turn around

How I tire - from hiding behind the curtain
my role requires me to keep my costume on
the audience oblivious to the true actress inside me

I walk the roads, in my favorite shoes with no socks
Anything that will harden my heart and not my feet
Anytime I am allowed freedom, I accept it earnestly

I have often been told, I possess great gifts
I am thankful, but feel as if I meant to be without
the truest passion within often forsakes me for the wrong choice

Timing is everything in my world
the beauty in this, is learning to accept its tranquility
even at times when its most darkest

I have awoken, I choose this
treading the waters in hopes of overcoming my fears
how it broke will one day be forgotten

Friday, June 17, 2011

Day four

Underrated sleep
My keeper's den
Future steps lay deep
Returning is long overdue

Shuddering is absent
What's real returns
Exemplary dreams unfolding
Touch reality, abound and yearned

Moving forward with pride
Seeking refuge within internal roots
Feeling alive intensifies
How was it ever lost

Revisiting my truths
Ignoring the impersonal
Charging onward brings triumph
Dodging all void and null

Misunderstood glances
Removing misplaced glasses
Refusing the game they fancy
Trodden ignorance results in humbleness

Journey onward freely
Solo dancing is most preferred
Purity surfaces over competition
Subdued reflections will then be heard

Monday, June 6, 2011

You don't have to be fake anymore...

I am about to embark on a new beginning.  A new job.  I am very excited about it as I spent over a year among the presence of a small staff that never really welcomed me into their group.  It made me think about my years in various working environments and how from the time I started working at the very prime age of sixteen, I have learned life is not always fair and doesn't come easy in the workplace.

My first job was a shampoo girl.  This was a blast for me because I always had a flair for doing different things with my hair (not to mention I won for "Best Hair" in my senior year of high school). I learned how to do my nails the correct way, how to prevent wrinkles around the eyes, and how to blow dry my hair straight (this was way before flatirons came along) just from working around women who were in their twenties.  It was a glorious time.  Before long, one of the girls became jealous because I took the attention of her co-workers away from her, or so she thought, and she had me fired.  That was my first experience with the "competitive league" out in the business world and I learned fast how to counteract with it.

What I did not know is that it would follow me.

Years past and I ended up in the corporate world.  Talk about scandal.  I have never heard so much talk about others behind their backs.  So much that it would get back to the "subject" by the end of the day.  If you emailed someone - chances are they took it the wrong way and a meeting was set up.  That was the horrific side to working corporate.  Everything required a fucking meeting. Seriously.

Moving along, having served in a catering company, after I had my two children, I decided to try my hand at serving in a small neighborhood restaurant.  That was when I learned the FOH drama. Thank goodness I wasn't in high school anymore.  I learned to mind my own business and found a restaurant elsewhere where I didn't have the younger clad around me.  It didn't matter.  It gets worse the older you get.  No kidding.

I have even witnessed a supposed good friend and work colleague try to get me into trouble.  At my favorite job of all places.  I guess that's what it took - loving your job to get someone to try to take it away from you.

Then this past year.  What negativity and no team work.  I contemplated writing this, as I don't mean to spread bad karma around or talk badly about those I used to work with.  But it's not so much about pointing fingers as much as bringing this thought to mind:  when you work in a positive environment where everyone cares to work together, as a team, it works.  And if you don't bring home enough bacon or you didn't finish your project or the delivery was not complete - you can work together and be in peace.  It's not rocket science people.  Seriously.  I am a laid back person and I can tolerate a lot of different personalities and not everyone is going to like each other.  But why do we work?  To meet friends?  No, we work because we love our particular profession of interest and we need to pay the bills and we want to travel and enjoy the nice things in life.  This is the time of recession.  It seems we are all racing for the same thing, but slowly becoming ruthless.  I am not going to deny my desire to look out for number one, we all must do so, but I wouldn't drag someone down to get to the other side.  Just couldn't do it.  It's not in me.

We can all learn from each other.  Being in the profession of wine, I find this atmosphere most supports this truth.  I am always willing to share my knowledge in hopes that others wish to share with me.  I don't care to pretend I'm someone I'm not, that I know more than you, or feel intimidated by your areas of expertise.  Moreover, "You don't have to be fake anymore".  It takes so much more energy to do so and why would you want to exert so much energy on something that will only bring you down versus lift you up.   I like my new boss' approach on this:  "our staff is like family".  We don't choose who we work with, but we can learn to work together.  And if we aim to work together in a positive environment - we can discover how our pieces interlock with each other. Our individual strengths are utilized and everyone is able to shine.  After all, everyone is a star.