when in Paris

I've never been to Paris.  And at the rate I'm going in my life, I most likely never will.  At this point, all I could do is dream and wonder what it'd be like or live through the experiences of others that have been.

The reason this post came about is because two nights ago I dreamt I was living in Paris and it felt so real I had convinced my waking self that I had actually been there.  I remember looking straight up the Eiffel tower and being swooned by its majesty, how grand it stood. I remember the cozy Parisian home I lived in and the roommates that came and went.  I remember feeling free and lost in life and not a thing bothered my soul.  I was content. And for an hour after waking from my wonderful dream, I had sighed in its wonder:  the wonder of Paris.

Two days later and I'm back in the land of reality.  And if there's anything I have taken from my dream experience are two things:  a) I can choose to make my dreams wherever I reside and b) I should lose myself to life in all that surrounds me.  Truth is, I have a lot to be thankful for, but we as humans are always reaching for beyond, for more.

It's like life is a drug and once we become immune to one aspect of it, we look for another piece to impart us a new high.

And not that reaching for bigger and better things isn't a good thing, it's the selfish trance that we fall under that makes us lose the bigger picture, or smaller at that.  For me, it's my kids.  I never imagined being a mother, but fate chose that route for me and I truly believe in doing so, it brought about the most unimaginable gift I have ever known:  unconditional love.

So I may never go to Paris and that's ok.  I will survive.  That's kinda been my motto since my early college years.  I will still have dreams, both asleep and awake.  I will still remember standing next to the Eiffel tower and feeling small, yet alive.  In the grand scheme of things, it's kinda a metaphor for the true meaning of life.  It doesn't matter how small we may feel next to this large world we live in, it only means we have a better view. It's just up to us how we choose to view it.

Take it all in.  Enjoy the whole view.

Look up and be in awe.

My motto in college.  Personalized license plate.

greener grass

I won't deny it, I miss smoking weed, but not enough to partake in the consuming habit it once was.  With a temper on my side, it soothed my mind, helped release tension, and made me write like a rock star.

writer's block

We all need inspiration.  Anyone who denies its need is lying to his/herself.  Inspiration can represent anything, but it's a priceless concoction that moves the soul along.  It may be aiming to fit in a new swim suit after working out for six weeks, a promotion that comes with a raise after that long worked on project has been completed, or a vacation in the future that's way overdue, compliments of your tax return.  As humans, when we know that a pot of gold awaits us at the end of the tunnel, we use that sight down the road to push, ignite and inspire us to work towards "point B."  In my case, inspiration gives me ammunition to write stories that I hope in turn will inspire thought.

the grass isn't always greener on the other side

I know this lesson better than anyone.  I am living through it now.  It amazes me how often I fall flat on my face because I think one change will make a dramatic impact.  "Say it isn't so?"  I bite my lip in hopes it is a bad dream that brought me to my current steps.  Yet it isn't a bad dream, but the realization that writer's block has taken me hostage and truth be told, I've been missing inspiration as a part of my day-to-day.

I have been pondering this for a few days now and my latest dream from last night's slumber brought about an obvious answer.  It doesn't require climbing the gate to get to the other side.  We make our successes by our actions, driven and focused as we project them. This is anyone's ammunition...drive...fire that gets us going.

When we're hungry, we eat.  When we're tired, we sleep.  These are examples of how our energy is fueled.  So I ask you this?  How do you acquire greener grass?  Bingo, you water it.

Find your motivation.  It's out there - sometimes you have to dig for it, but it's there. It's an essential part of how we grow as a person and knowing when you have succeeded makes it all the more glorious.

So what's my current inspiration?  To make everything I touch better.  To treat others nicely.  To smile and laugh every day because it's a "sure cure" that always makes us feel alive.  More amazing than this, it's contagious and if everyone's doing it then inspiration will grow abundantly.