What's your mantra?

I have a confession.  I have 11 mantras and they are as follows:

My gifts
YS
CH
Dead
STOP
Hope leads
Silence is power
3 30 rules
Day One
Aftermath
I'm a ballerina

Some are used more often than others.  They represent different needs in my life.  The acronyms are personal meanings that I hope will encourage me to reflect on my "keeping my soul in check".  Some, such as "Dead", are shorter versions of longer sentences.  I think you get the point.

But how did this all come about?

Last fall I began seeing a therapist.  I was experiencing an extremely difficult year and I needed to release my frustrations.  It's been incredibly helpful thus far.  I have been inspired to dig into my soul, make self discoveries, and recall childhood memories.  Shortly after the visits began, I discovered other things that needed my attention in my life and the timing of everything slowly came together.

One of the things my therapist suggested for me was to come up with a mantra.  One that would inspire me to trade my negative mindsets in for positive ones.  It could be my own form of expression and I should repeat it to myself when the need for its creation arose.

As time went on, I realized I couldn't just have one.  There's one for when I feel my anger start to boil and one for when I forget my accomplishments - they are different pains that require different remedies, i.e. unique mantras.  In fact, just the other day, I used "Silence is power" for the first time and I was amazed at how calm I remained while the storm took its course.

Once it passed, it felt good to know I endured the situation.  I didn't let my emotions get the best of me and that's the beginning of building strong habits that enforce me to stay focused on taking care of me.

The best part about having mantras, is it's free and unique to each and every one who so desires to reap its healing properties.

It brings me to a quote a good manager once told me, "Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of intelligence".  I used to think that if I needed to see a therapist that meant I was crazy or incapable of keeping my emotions in check.  But we're all human and it's o.k. to care a little more about your feelings; if I need exercises that will keep my soul aligned then I am not ashamed to admit it.

So go ahead, create your own mantra.  It doesn't have to be poetic or rocket science.  Use an acronym if you want no one to know what it means, but do yourself a favor and create one for your soul bank.  Trust me, it'll thank you and you may end up with just as many as me.

Have you made your bed today?

Welcome back, to my blog.  It's been a while - seven months to be exact.  My absence is due to a multitude of reasons, but I'm ready to return with short stories and insights to daily adventures, life lessons and surprise dealings.  My first blog post for 2015 was born of an unfortunate exchange of words that left me wounded and perplexed about the constant occurrence of losing friendships over unbalanced expectations.  I'm still in shock, yet I'm learning more everyday as to why it is more important than ever to make sure the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is make my bed.

Photo credit:  Crane & Canopy

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I have daily discussions with my eleven year old son about why it is important to make your own bed.  Possibly more stubborn than my mother, he is relentlessly confused as to why the task must be facilitated. It may be the millionth time we've discussed this, yet I still laugh and enjoy these moments of debate.  I, on the other hand, lavishly welcome the thought of straightening my bed immediately after I wake. Everything about it must be perfect - the sides are even, the bed is leveled and the duvet looks calm and pressed.  When it comes to putting on new sheets, my husband and I often have contests on who could put the pillow cases on the fastest.  These moments make me happy and feel safe. Sometimes I forget how that feels -- the little things that mean the most.

As I approach the anniversary of the last time I spoke with my best friend, I reflect on how much I've changed.  Learning not to have a best friend is difficult because I literally could have called her at any whim's moment and I do believe that to be a strong descriptor of best friends.  Realistically though, when a line is crossed for me, I can't turn back.  It's harder. There's a certain distinction about the type of sadness you experience when someone you trust and care for is the responsible for this feeling.  It affects everything about you because a friend is someone you choose; accepting misjudgement brings about self blame and the equation of these emotions make it much harder to trust again.

That was three years ago.  These days, it's easier not to care.  That's the scary thing.  I've been hurt so many times that I just do whatever I can to fill in the holes.  I strive for staying focused.  I don't have time to waste on those who don't give a shit about me.  I am my own guard.  I am responsible for protecting my soul.  A big and important job considering it controls every function I have been bestowed with.  I want to savor these gifts.  I have the ability to feel because I'm alive and truthfully, even when I'm hurting or feeling let down, I am thankful that I can feel an array of emotions.  This enables me to express my stories through artistic forms.  I choose writing because it paints a unique picture in each reader's mind - making it his/her story.

So why make your bed?  Because that's where your day begins.  It's the first thing you do and when you return to sleep, it's a reminder that you can count on yourself to make it right, be strong and start over.  It's proof that you can stay focused and loyal to your daily regimen. It shows consistency can triumph over disappointments that we have no control over.  It's the little things, remember, that make everything worth it - that mean the most. So make your bed and make it good.  You'll set the pace for strength regardless of the cards you're dealt; and after a long day there's no better feeling than returning to a bed that's comfortably made and ready to take you in.

Distraction: friend or foe

When I was in college, I had the keen ability to focus on my studies like it was nobody's business.  I was in school and worked full time.  I had no social life and was too busy to care of its stance lacking in my life.  No regrets ever surfaced and I was completely fulfilled when I graduated.

Since then, my life has multiplied in layers.  Not only do I maintain a full time work schedule, but being a mother of two is a full time and a half gig on its own.  It's the best job I've ever held but it comes with an expense and I am not only referring to the monetary kind.  I confess to being a worrier and I am constantly thinking of their well being 24-7.  I don't have days off and it will be a position I will hold honorably until I pass.  Even still, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Yet in the midst of my crazed life, I often forget to chill out.  I envy those who find time to read a book in its entirety and practice yoga four times a week as I once did not too long ago.  I definitely contest that one is responsible for his/her own actions and in this case I have myself to blame.

So why the blog title?

I recently had a distraction.  Call it what you wish, but an incident that caused me to slow down and take softer breaths.  I am usually not a fan of distractions as I believe in being focused at all times, but having experienced "a time of reflection", I am thankful.  It reminded me that I am not merely defined by my being my mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a service professional, a friend, etc., but by Linda:  the individual I am that came to be through my life experiences.  I don't want to forget her because then I would be neglecting the dire importance of keeping her soul intact.

So I will search within, each day going forward.  I will pick up that book I've been etching to read, follow the recipe of rose water shortbread cookies, study the grand crus of Burgundy, and forget about the laundry so I could have quality time with my children.

My soul will thank me and as a result I'll probably smile more often.  This in turn will spread the cheer as I do believe smiling is contagious.  Thank you distraction, for this awakening. You've proven to be a friend.  A true one at that.  You're invited to come back at anytime.

greener grass

I won't deny it, I miss smoking weed, but not enough to partake in the consuming habit it once was.  With a temper on my side, it soothed my mind, helped release tension, and made me write like a rock star.

writer's block

We all need inspiration.  Anyone who denies its need is lying to his/herself.  Inspiration can represent anything, but it's a priceless concoction that moves the soul along.  It may be aiming to fit in a new swim suit after working out for six weeks, a promotion that comes with a raise after that long worked on project has been completed, or a vacation in the future that's way overdue, compliments of your tax return.  As humans, when we know that a pot of gold awaits us at the end of the tunnel, we use that sight down the road to push, ignite and inspire us to work towards "point B."  In my case, inspiration gives me ammunition to write stories that I hope in turn will inspire thought.

the grass isn't always greener on the other side

I know this lesson better than anyone.  I am living through it now.  It amazes me how often I fall flat on my face because I think one change will make a dramatic impact.  "Say it isn't so?"  I bite my lip in hopes it is a bad dream that brought me to my current steps.  Yet it isn't a bad dream, but the realization that writer's block has taken me hostage and truth be told, I've been missing inspiration as a part of my day-to-day.

I have been pondering this for a few days now and my latest dream from last night's slumber brought about an obvious answer.  It doesn't require climbing the gate to get to the other side.  We make our successes by our actions, driven and focused as we project them. This is anyone's ammunition...drive...fire that gets us going.

When we're hungry, we eat.  When we're tired, we sleep.  These are examples of how our energy is fueled.  So I ask you this?  How do you acquire greener grass?  Bingo, you water it.

Find your motivation.  It's out there - sometimes you have to dig for it, but it's there. It's an essential part of how we grow as a person and knowing when you have succeeded makes it all the more glorious.

So what's my current inspiration?  To make everything I touch better.  To treat others nicely.  To smile and laugh every day because it's a "sure cure" that always makes us feel alive.  More amazing than this, it's contagious and if everyone's doing it then inspiration will grow abundantly.