When I was in college, I had the keen ability to focus on my studies like it was nobody's business. I was in school and worked full time. I had no social life and was too busy to care of its stance lacking in my life. No regrets ever surfaced and I was completely fulfilled when I graduated.
Since then, my life has multiplied in layers. Not only do I maintain a full time work schedule, but being a mother of two is a full time and a half gig on its own. It's the best job I've ever held but it comes with an expense and I am not only referring to the monetary kind. I confess to being a worrier and I am constantly thinking of their well being 24-7. I don't have days off and it will be a position I will hold honorably until I pass. Even still, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Yet in the midst of my crazed life, I often forget to chill out. I envy those who find time to read a book in its entirety and practice yoga four times a week as I once did not too long ago. I definitely contest that one is responsible for his/her own actions and in this case I have myself to blame.
So why the blog title?
I recently had a distraction. Call it what you wish, but an incident that caused me to slow down and take softer breaths. I am usually not a fan of distractions as I believe in being focused at all times, but having experienced "a time of reflection", I am thankful. It reminded me that I am not merely defined by my being my mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a service professional, a friend, etc., but by Linda: the individual I am that came to be through my life experiences. I don't want to forget her because then I would be neglecting the dire importance of keeping her soul intact.
So I will search within, each day going forward. I will pick up that book I've been etching to read, follow the recipe of rose water shortbread cookies, study the grand crus of Burgundy, and forget about the laundry so I could have quality time with my children.
My soul will thank me and as a result I'll probably smile more often. This in turn will spread the cheer as I do believe smiling is contagious. Thank you distraction, for this awakening. You've proven to be a friend. A true one at that. You're invited to come back at anytime.