Friday, March 9, 2012

Heartache is overrated

Of all my girlfriends, I have definitely had my share of bad boys.  But then again, I was never one to stick around.  My own mother would testify that she never saw me settling down, getting married and having kids - but being one who likes to prove anyone wrong, I did just that.

Heartache is imperative in life.  If your first love didn't break your heart and every relationship you had was perfect then you wouldn't know how to deal with strife or how to recover.  Learning to bounce back from heartache teaches you a valuable gift that is never bestowed upon you, or earned. It merely happens.  It teaches you to persevere, take on challenges, be head-strong, make solid decisions, tell right from wrong, know when to trust and when not to, and above all - it makes the experiences that are heartfelt versus brokenhearted, even more rewarding.  You can rest assure that you will endure those moments that seem to last forever or never go away because in the end, heartache is overrated.

Don't sell yourself short on those who are not worthy of your time.  It's a process, I contest to that, but you will survive.  Shortly after my four year on-again, off-again relationship with a guy in college, I told myself that I would never depose time and energy to anyone like I did to him.  He broke me in half in the end, but soon after our break-up I realized that I let him do it.  I toyed with our relationship, we dated others at certain periods than came back to each other, we confessed our love, professed our love then separated again - only to find out that when I thought it was just us, it was us and a third person.  I laugh about it now because I was sadder to part ways with his mom than I was with him.  He was in the end what I like to call, "good riddance".  It took me a bit of time to see it because I couldn't decipher what it was that made me sad, but in hindsight - I realized that I was more disappointed in myself, the person I had become, than I was with his cheating on me.  It was never what I wanted and once free, I learned to be myself again and explore what life had in store for me.

"In other news" the same goes for being turned away from prospect employers.  I've had interviews that I felt I rocked out 150 percent, only to be faced with a dead-end interim.  In all honesty, I am learning to deal with the rejection aka heartache in a different light.  The fact that so-called managers disregard the professional follow-up emails that job hunters send reminds me of a certain class of men we've all dated.  The lies that consist of, "We'll call you" which really translates to, "We won't call you because we don't have the guts to tell you the truth" (sound like a boyfriend you once had who strung you along?).  In the end, I wouldn't want to work for someone who can't be honest. I understand that most employers go by gut instinct or maybe they are looking for a specific criteria of work experience (I get the chemistry aspect), just don't lead people on.  Being straightforward when and however appropriate earns more respect upfront and one that is possibly long lasting ("perhaps we can become friends" - we've all heard that one before).

Overall, I am taking the way of interviewing in stride.  I am remembering my heartache memories and applying lessons learned in the same way.  I am exerting my energy to productive interests, keeping up with the latest news in the restaurant industry and studying my wine books again.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason.  Heartache is overrated - the job that is intended for me will turn up when the timing's right.  Just like the right guy or girl for those of you in the dating game.  Be patient, after all, it's a virtue.

1 comment:

  1. "Don't sell yourself short on those who are not worthy of your time." Beautiful!! Thanks for sharing this story.