I could trash everyone and say it's their fault. I could point fingers and be completely convinced that I was set up or that luck doesn't care to be on my side these days. But I won't. A good friend reminded me today of my past accomplishments and whether they show or not, I have to prove myself every time, every where and in every way. Not just to others, but mainly to me. This is how humbling occurs.
Ever since I was young, I have prided myself on organization. I worked in corporate for nine years, in which time I learned a lot about balancing numbers and how to manage tech support. I applied my organizational skills and as a result, I earned some status, despite having a non-accounting degree. That made me proud, but I was miserable in the accounting world. I knew the career I had chosen, although a well-paid one, was not for me.
After having my children, I ended up in the restaurant industry. Definitely the most brutal industry out there. There's no one-on-one, even though I take it upon myself to enforce it. I am all about open communication and I like to know where improvements are needed. I'll be honest, I am not very good at taking criticism, especially as a grown woman. That is, a grown woman with an arrogant child's mind. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel as if somehow I became cocky - I don't know how or when or what idea conceived such a foolish presumption, but it happened.
Last year, I worked for someone who told me I never made mistakes. He told me I was good with numbers, working under stress and controlling money flow. I prided myself on that because it is a result of my keen organizational skills. I left that job, however, because I was bored. I knew deep down they didn't want me to leave, but the challenge had died and I needed to move on.
Currently, I reside within an environment that has exposed me to crazy like I've never seen before. I made changes in my life, dramatic ones, suspecting such chaos, but even those changes could not prepare me for what is currently happening. Irony came knocking on my door last night and I was told, for the first time in my life, that my organizational skills were not up to par. Pow - did that hurt. I felt as if I was in a boxing match and even though I weighed more than my opponent, he beat me down to the ground in the first round.
In conclusion, I must move forward and focus. Whether I disagree with the other or feel as if I am already, I must strive to improve my motion. I can make my organizational skills surpass what I was capable of yesterday. I can choose to say I can, rather than I can't. And in the process of doing so, I will learn the most valuable lesson of all: how to continually humble myself. So the next time I come into the ring with my alleged opponent, I will be the one doing the knocking out.