A server's day

Some people are born servers, yet they just don’t really care. They have this savvy way about them, they usually win their customers over, but they can never follow through. They are very good, but for some crazy reason - they can’t give you 100 percent. Then there are those who try really hard, but they’re just not cut out for it. They study the menu more, they come in early to study the specials and to become faster in areas where they lack speed. They never learn that’s it’s all about timing and being in total control. Lastly, there are those who, for some unbeknown reason, are scoring the covers and milking the cows because they make the most amount of money for being a simple server with the fake personality. Maybe at one time they did really care, but once they saw the money the quality of service didn’t mean as much anymore. They take advantage of their back waiter, the one that actually makes it happen for them and the one who takes home the least of the tips.

We all make money to survive, but serving is more than that. It’s about that connection you have when you deliver the ultimate service experience. It’s about timing, sincerity and making your guest feel like a king or queen. The glory lies in the happiness you bestow on your guest. That’s why it comes from the heart.

This is a server’s day.

01/31/2010

Digging for yellow

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

I heard the song on the radio the other day and I thought, “how ironic.” I used to love this song because I thought it held so much meaning, yet was so simply well put. Then yesterday I was speaking to a wise friend and she made me realize that we do get what we want in life. It is through the sacrifices we make to achieve our goals that make life so challenging, trying, yet very rewarding. Our characters, who we are, are shaped by these opportunities, privileges, and struggles. How we approach the situation, how we handle our props, and how we make sense and best use of our tangible means. In the end, it all comes back to you - what you make of your day.

Today, the chips weren’t falling in my favor, but then the sun came out and it made me feel great. I won’t let the uncontrollable circumstances control my fate, I can put it in the background and no one has to know it exists. In my world, it doesn’t have to. That is the beauty of getting what you want in life. Believing that something yellow is hiding behind something gray and you just have to dig in to find it.

02/04/2010

Chameleon

Always changing
Sometimes low and sometimes high
Sometimes just trying to get by
I’m a mother and a wife
But sometimes I question the duty of this life
On school grounds, I fumble with conversation
That follows the flow of food and sanitation
Scouting the playground for signs of misconduct
I find the ones that will lure my offspring
At home there’s daily homework, then off to work
Where I serve the general public, serving culture
How diverse is the city of two seasons, winter and spending tax dollars

Life is about adaptation
Whether you are working or lurking in the dark
Changing your uniform for your next role
An actor whose script is constant improvisation
Separate identities, how often I ad-lib
Should I or should I not
This one talks or doesn’t care for me
So I lash out – fuck you
You can’t run me out, I am merely a chameleon changing hats

03/27/2010

this is heartache

when your favorite place is closed
and no one knows how you feel
you've left imprints in fallen rain
and you still wind up the same
choosing and dealing is what life is about
take it slow, don't look back, then shout
here's another - conflicting emotions
not on the same page yet feeling audacious
should have thought twice before I knew
another hand pulls the yellow door
my fingerprints no longer lay on its handle
respect lost in translation, minus the scandal
the once good friend... what was her name?
played the take the best out of best friend game
coming and going, drama or pleasure
not my kind of game or treasure
the one of a kind I knew died young
i never had a chance to text her or say goodbye
speaking of… this is the hardest
losing someone who is dear, and unexpectedly
and you race with your mind to remember
the last time you spent together, what was said
then you recall it, and replay it over again
and it seems very real, tis true
and winter - enough said...
your snow flakes fall sporadically on my head
oh heartache why do you spring upon us?
i am summer year round, i cannot frown
let sunshine reflect on the true souls
the ones who really know who they are
and maybe then the heartache will vanish
and no one will ever know as they do not know now
what trouble lies among us
the ones that stay inside our hearts

this which is heartache

05/31/2010

Addictive Measures

I cannot stray from it

how often I have tried

I turn here, I turn there

I convince myself of the lie

but somehow, some way

it crawls back to me on its knees

and I can’t help myself

the way I see it

I don’t know any different

there are layers

like flavors in a wine

the more complex

the more magnetic the connection is

it is because it represents your every person

when you’re nice and gentle

or put on the bitch mask

when you’re sad or happy or both

when you see needs that are indifferent to others

feeling 200 percent sincere

all of these mean something

and the feeling is intensified

when the addiction exists

your soul begins to open up

you are changing scenes

this is complexity

set me aside, you think at first

you want to hang on to the previous nuance

sadly, you realize you’ve become submissive

and it’s a new world, the layers linger

you get so far in, you discover more

sometimes familiar, sometimes foreign

it softens, it deepens, it defines itself

and before it touches your lips, you taste it already

this is addiction

10/18/2010

How it broke

I watch the games you play, at your leisure
trust me when I say you will repeat your words, only with kindness
only then I won't care or turn around

How I tire - from hiding behind the curtain
my role requires me to keep my costume on
the audience oblivious to the true actress inside me

I walk the roads, in my favorite shoes with no socks
Anything that will harden my heart and not my feet
Anytime I am allowed freedom, I accept it earnestly

I have often been told, I possess great gifts
I am thankful, but feel as if I meant to be without
the truest passion within often forsakes me for the wrong choice

Timing is everything in my world
the beauty in this, is learning to accept its tranquility
even at times when its most darkest

I have awoken, I choose this
treading the waters in hopes of overcoming my fears
how it broke will one day be forgotten

Day four

Underrated sleep
My keeper's den
Future steps lay deep
Returning is long overdue


Shuddering is absent
What's real returns
Exemplary dreams unfolding
Touch reality, abound and yearned


Moving forward with pride
Seeking refuge within internal roots
Feeling alive intensifies
How was it ever lost


Revisiting my truths
Ignoring the impersonal
Charging onward brings triumph
Dodging all void and null


Misunderstood glances
Removing misplaced glasses
Refusing the game they fancy
Trodden ignorance results in humbleness


Journey onward freely
Solo dancing is most preferred
Purity surfaces over competition
Subdued reflections will then be heard